to be changed

extraspection:
virginia is not a cold, dead place [after all].
it never really seemed to be, though. not really.
i have Korean neighbors who cooked me spicy rice the other day.
it was delicious. it ate it with seaweed.
we testified to the death, burial, and resurrection tonight.

introspection:
sometimes i am overcome by this [somewhat arrogant and yet well-meaning, i think] desire to hide that which i love from people whom i fear will not love it as well as i do.

(or coming at it from another angle:) when a thing has changed my life, then i love it so deeply that i cannot stand for it to be loved less deeply.

and then…
[and then, and then]

i realized.
how this tendency permeates me.
(it is my self, and those things which make me that i love the most)
and though the truth of my fears cannot (i think) fully be denied, i am certain that they are not the reality to which i must conform my life. (see Resurrection)

if only i might live this.
(we have the firstfruits)

captain

i heard a voice (come and see)

dear ones,

highlights of the past week (or so):

language acquisition lectures.
the most frustrating tinker-toys exercise ever.
sashimi that stares at me.
the revelation (apocalypse).
barefoot soccer
a r o p e s w i n g
food from thailand (american hot?)
dance parties
the gods must be crazy (click click)
cibarA <–
prayer.frustration.prayer.prayer.cslewis.prayer
Resurrection

a recurring bedtime meditation:
i’m ready to grow beyond having days in which the wisest thing i do is doubt the wisdom of my actions.

prayer requests:
wisdom
patience

captain

to fly a little

yorktown.
i sailed – in more than just figurative ways.
i also humiliated myself, but we will not go into that.
we are created by being destroyed.

it is march. lent. i am paralyzingly weary of myself.
but glory be…, for the sunrise has visited us from on high.
(an overture to illumination?)

we will be changed.
of this i am sure.
all praise and glory to him who is the First and Last,
who died and came to life again.

captain